These Are The Things That Define Me


August 9, 2010

Welcome to my home. Please come in, there is much to show you. This is the living room. Breathe it in. Do you smell that? It’s nothing. My apartment is delightfully neutral.

These are the things that define me. Those statues on the mantle tell you that I have been to a foreign place. What place? It doesn’t matter. They could be Inca but that’s not the point. The point is you know that I acquired them in that other place. The statues tell you that I’m a traveler, an adventurer, and open to new things. They also convey a hint of financial security. How else would I have been able to afford to go on the trip?

Here on the coffee table are three magazines which I have placed in a fan pattern so you can read their titles even with a cursory glance. Note their variety: Scientific American, Men’s Health, and Mad Magazine. Each one tells you something about the image I’m trying to craft, covering a wide range of topics and tones. Mad Magazine is a little uncool but I got it for free of the curb and if you say something, I don’t have a problem telling you that.

Next to the magazines are five craftsman’s tools that I have I oriented into a wigwam. I keep them there at all times to offset the cerebral artifacts we have been discussing. Honestly, I do use them: last month I used the screwdriver to puncture a can of apple juice.

That’s all for the living room. Join me in my home library where you can marvel at my collection of books about crafting the perfect home library.