Canadian Astronaut Swims To Safety From Hurricane Rina

October 27, 2011

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Canadian astronaut David Saint-Jacques and his crew were forced to swim to the surface after Hurricane Rina threatened their ocean floor laboratory. He would have taken a shuttle but Thunderbird 4 had been damaged by the waves.

“I’m going to miss it. It’s very livable,” Saint-Jacques said of the high-tech utopia he shared with his five children at the bottom of the ocean. “Unfortunately, we’ll have to bunk in our Space Station Command Centre.”

“Living inside a machine is like any roommate situation,” he said. “It helps that we have Sanjay, our teenage Indian manservant. His accent cheers us up when we’re in danger.”

Saint Jacques said the mission was intended to replicate a real deep-space experience. Everyday, NASA would genetically engineer vile beasts to do battle with Saint Jacques. His greatest foe? “Definitely the Jelly Shark.”

Although Saint-Jacques is disappointed the mission was cut short, he said he’s looking forward to working on his Russian. He said he looks forward to being able to yell heroic threats at his arch nemesis. “So far I know Не сегодня, доктор Коммунистическ, which means ‘Not today, Doctor Communist!”

Original story here.