“That Time I…” posts are true stories that am I retiring from my social repertoire. To honour them, I am committing them to text for the first time. Read stories about sound torture, abortion, my awesome tattoo, and the infamous Tragic Hand Button.
I awoke at one o’clock in the morning with a sharp and intense pain in my abdomen. Guessing that I had food poisoning, I sat on the toilet for a while expecting something to come out of either end. Nothing did. But I had dealt with this kind of thing before and, in my experience, it operates on its own schedule. I went back to bed to wait for instructions from my body.