“Greetings fellow Russians and also homosexuals. I was very disturbed by the behavior of both Russians and homosexuals at this year’s Olympics Games. It is time that both of our species learn to live side by side.
If this cohabitation is to be successful, you will have to agree to minor lifestyle changes. You will not be allowed to live underground in hive colonies. You will not be allowed to use your mandibles to cut down vegetation in the park. And you will not be allowed to use our land for your vast fungus farms. If you agree to these terms, I will stop construction of a giant boot that will be used to destroy you.
Join me and we will build a new, more inclusive Russia. And when we are friends, you will use your super strength to help me get rid of the black people.”