Bruce walked by her a few times. He would go to the end of the block and come back, walking to the other end of the block. By this point the woman would nod at him each time he passed. It was reassuring however and seemed to say, ‘You’re new at this. Take your time.’
Finally he approached, said hello, and asked her how much. He was surprised by the complexity of the answer. It entirely depended on what he wanted: he could get a one or a two with clothes on for fifty bucks, a one or a two and a three for seventy-five, or an All-Dressed which actually meant clothes off and everything on the menu for one hundred and twenty five. He went for the All-Dressed. He appreciated how formulaic the ordering was. It was like ordering at at McDonald’s which suggested to him there was little room for error on either part.
“It’s my birthday,” he said.
“Okay. Come with me, birthday boy.”
When they arrived at the hotel, she escaped to the bathroom to freshen up. He took off all his clothes, lay down on his back, and waited. When she emerged in some lingerie, she laughed at him and told him he wasn’t very romantic. Then she began.
He stopped her a few minutes in to ask if what she was doing was one, two, or three. She said one. A moment later he stopped her again to ask if this was still one. She said it was. A moment later she had repositioned him and now he was doing stuff to her. He asked if he was doing one to her and she said no, this was two. She explained that some customers want either or both so she separates them as actions. Makes sense, he thought.
By the time they got to three, things were starting to get pretty loud. Bruce was concerned someone would come over to see what all the muss was about. Three was easily the most difficult of them. Not in terms of technique – that would be two – but in terms of strength and endurance. Eventually she went back to one and soon it was over.
He paid her and thanked her. He asked her if she wanted to get something to eat. She didn’t. She asked him if that was his first time and he said it was. She kissed him on the cheek and congratulated him. She asked if he had a good time. He said it was okay. He asked her if she was sure she wasn’t hungry. He said she could put it on his tab. “It’s my birthday,” he said.
She inhaled, about to say no, but instead said, “That’s number four. It’s very special. Normally I don’t tell people about it. But because it’s your birthday, I’ll throw it in for free.” She asked where they were going for food.
“McDonald’s. It’s my favourite. Did you know if you ordered four single patty cheeseburgers you would get as much meat as a double quarter pounder for ten cents cheaper?”
She said she loved cheeseburgers and was surprised that she didn’t know that. He said he would show her.
Today, I was thinking about this so the word of the day is prostitution! However, I decided not to use it the story.